in over my head

Hammer pants

2004-11-02T10:37:00.000-07:00

Feel much better nowadays, I just had to not worry about school for a while. It's nice to really ignore my work for a while. Gets that load off your back. Today is the election in the US which means national updates and coverage on this important event...no new episode of scrubs I guess. Oh well, if that's what we must sacrafice for a possible new leader of the free world, so be it. Ain't this shit exciting? Apperently because of the early voting, Bush is ahead of Kerry 35-21....close.

2004-10-29T23:03:00.000-06:00

On some days, I just can't see anything good in the world. I get these non-clinical anxious moments where I feel like things are doomed, sort of like there's nothing to hold on to. Standing at the bus stop today, I just couldn't see what was so wonderful about the world. All I could see was drab old buildings that surrounded the bus stop and grey dull backdrop. I had one moment though, one moment where the beauty of the world actually revealed itself, only to just walk away while I sat in my seat wondering what had happened. In moments like that, I can never appreciate it until the horribleness comes back. The worst part was that I had to go to work. Working in a service sector job is terrible. It's where people will trample over everybody to save a buck. Human nature is to serve one's self, there's no getting around it. At my job, I see the worst of it at times and it doesn't help the situation. By the end of my shift, I had this terrible headache and I just wanted to go home so I can sit in my room and remind myself of why it is I am happy on days unlike this one.

Another thing, it may be related to this dismal feeling I have, but I always wonder what will happen to me when I'm on my own, with a career. I always wonder if I will deviate from the pact that I made with myself. If I will buy something like an SUV, which would be useless and polluting. If I would start drinking or vote for the PC's because they got rid of Alberta's debt (ignorance prevails I suppose). Or worse yet, if I would start chasing kids off my lawn, like my current neighbors, when I own a house. What if that were to happen? I would sell my present self out wouldn't I? I would say so. Maybe someday I can write some sort of promise to myself or something like that.

Nicer than most would be....

2004-10-29T14:14:00.000-06:00

You ever figure that each step you take could have important implications in your surroundings? Or that maybe the same steps are just leading you towards class, work, or home. Maybe the steps I take could simply just take me to my Psych class. Or maybe they may lead me to someone important in the scheme of things. I was never real big on destiny but it's nice to know that I may make a difference (positive of course) in someone's life. Whether it be meeting the one person who's supposed to have a profound effect on my life or possibly saving someone else's from disastrous effects. I don't know where I'm going with this. I figure there's got to be a reason I drag myself out of my bed and tell myself things aren't as bad as they could be. In fact, nowadays I feel the best has yet to come; that things are getting better, towards something grand. I'm going to take a walk and I'm going to make a difference. Maybe nothing like curing cancer, but if my actions have some sort of positive result in someone's day.... Maybe things will pick up...midterms are over...

2004-10-28T16:47:00.000-06:00

that's correct Dillinger Four, it must be eradicated

Waking up

2004-10-28T08:43:00.000-06:00

Ughh....waking up I figured I'd give another shot at this posting thing. I've got a midterm in about two hours and I feel a little frazzled. So I thought it'd be nice to vent about things before I have to leave. Okay, I was listening to the radio and I, for some inexpilcable reason, turned to 96X. What hit me was that mofo commercial for East Side Mario's restaurant. Have you heard this fucking commercial?! It's the worst thing you can do to your ears. The guy speaking...and then he sings at the end....it doesn't make any damn sense how people are allowed to live sometimes. And furthering the stereotype for Italian folks he goes "bada boom bada bing". Who the hell is this guy?? The first time I ever heard this dumbass commercial I thought "Why the fuck is Tony Soprano doing a commercial for a restaurant?" Please don't allow this reastaurant to produce more of these groan inducing commercials.

Now now, Matt, the commercial isn't that bad.

Anyway, I figure that's enough. I finally got that sweet-ass picture I captured from "Apparitions" (using good timing and a quick mouse clicking finger) so enjoy.

The Workers Sing a Song of Mass Introduction

2004-10-27T20:44:00.000-06:00

Well, after reviewing some of my friends' blogs, I have come to the conclusion that my thoughts deserve to be typed out and displayed to any poor soul that happens to stumble upon my fair site. Let's get the ball rolling shall we? My name is Richard, I'm a second year student at the U of A. Currently, I am feeling the heat of midterms as it is what the U calls "Midterm Week". I've managed to get by one and am studying for another one as I type this...so I guess I'm not really studying am I?

awesome

I finally got this damn thing to work and so I must relish in the sugary goodness that is the late Matthew Good Band. I am a HUGE Matt Good/Band fan (well possibly not as huge as some of my friends). I also like various other bands but Matt Good/Band is inexplicably awesome. Anyway, experimenting with this blog has left me weary. Hopefully I can organize my thoughts better and make a meaningful (to me at least) post. Word.